Introduction to Self Alchemy Part 1

I am on a lifelong quest to become whole, fully self aware, and to experience the nonduality of my inner and outer worlds. This quest means to grow spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and energetically into who one already is. The easiest way for me to grapple with this goal and to make steps toward it is through self alchemy, or dissection and integration of the conscious and unconscious self as described in Carl Jung’s Psychology and Alchemy and Clarissa Pinkola Estes’ Women Who Run With the Wolves, and Robert Bly’s Iron John.

The alchemical process often begins with a major life change which forces one’s ego to become malleable. The ego in general doesn’t want to lose any of its control and dominion of the psyche and therefore a trauma, mystical experience, or any major life disruption can cause a breakdown of the psyche’s status quo. This breakdown at the very least will be uncomfortable as the ego initially fights dissolution of some aspect of itself (The further along one is in this process and the quieter the ego, the smoother it will be.)This breakdown is followed by a descent into and excavation of the unconscious to illuminate heretofore unknown parts of oneself. The material one finds is often dark upon first examination and the ego must breakdown even more as the conscious mind struggles to learn the meaning of what was previously unknown or misunderstood. Finding compassionate understanding for this new information and adjusting how one knows and interacts with oneself and the world is the final step in the alchemical process of turning lead into gold. The dark material or lead at first must be analyzed, then perceived with the ultimate reality to be integrated into the conscious mind, gifting the conscious mind with expansion as the lead becomes gold. The psyche is then truly underway in the quest for wholeness. This integration leads to the death of the ego in its current form to make room for the expanded self awareness. When deconstructing one’s current self view and worldview, the ego must finally surrender for transformation because the alternative is perpetual suffering as the ego fights for agency in a way that no longer works with the revelations found when excavating and dissecting the unconscious mind. The integration process can also be anything from smooth to agonizing as the ego and conscious mind are restructured and reborn as a mystical new self.

- Self Alchemy Seeker