Kintsugi

We have all been harmed or wounded at some point in our lives, but we haven't disappeared. Some pieces are missing, but none from the self. The pieces that feel missing were never really us. Those pieces were picked up along the way, added to our essence in an attempt to define ourselves. A futile attempt to fit into a society that judges us inadequate no matter how hard we try to fit in. We have all lost someone we love, but the pain of loss only proves love is real. We have all felt pain from someone who loves us, but it was only the pain they felt themselves.

We learned from society to judge ourselves harshly. No mercy for the one inside, for the trespasses we committed against others and ourselves. We have caused untold amounts of damage to ourselves, living lies as we tried in a vain attempt to find acceptance from the world, desperately attempting to mold ourselves into a perfect being like a piece of clay on the potter's wheel. Stifling our hearts and avoiding our true purpose. Days became weeks, then months and years, as time passed we could feel the falseness of our lives, like a great chain shackling us to the story we told. One day we broke through, the facade fell away and we were left with the feeling of coming apart, cracking along the very foundation that we built our house of lies.

That deep cracking feeling down to your core is a necessity. Every event that has happened in your life has brought you to this moment, a moment where you can see your true self. Feeling like you are coming apart gives you a chance to identify the true parts of yourself. It's hard to feel like you are coming apart, but it will not be forever. No feeling last forever, the only constant is change. The chain is gone and you are set free. Those cracks are there to release what isn't really you. They will be filled with something more precious than gold. Those cracks will be filled with love and the knowledge of your true self. Those cracks will be infused with what will become the most beautiful parts of you, and because of them others will be able to see the true you.

Many of us rush down a path in the search to find ourselves only to find that our true selves were always inside. There is no time limit on your path to truth, trust you are where you should be. The process is the progress, as long as it comes from the heart. We all struggle, we all feel lost sometimes. We feel naked without the old bindings that held us for so long. There are times when we feel like we aren't on the right path, those are the times when we are figuring out the direction we are supposed to go. We aren't static, we are always moving towards where we need to be next. We aren't lost, we aren't defeated, we aren't going in the wrong direction. We are just where we are supposed to be. We are the closest we can get to perfect. We are perfectly imperfect.

We tell ourselves we should be better than we are because we spent so much of our time looking, learning and growing. That we should be healed of all the pain and suffering of our lives. Be the best you can be with what you have. We can only do our best, there is no such thing as better than our best. Be fair with yourself. Be honest with yourself, everyone on a spiritual journey is looking so hard at themselves. We have to remind ourselves that we are on a journey, but not to a place. There is no finish line, no one is going to tell us that we have arrived. So we have to take it slow now, live in this moment forever, because that's all there is.

We are all kintsugi, like clay pottery cracked and broken, carefully collected and painstakingly put back together. Made stronger by the love of the self, found by the diligent search for the truth in our hearts. True beauty comes from imperfection. Your scars are an honest part of who you are, they are the parts that have been healed. See the beauty in the progress you have made. Like broken pottery mended with gold, you are beautiful, complete, and unique. Be proud of where you are now.